Why the Nicolas Hamilton interview was so problematic
A quick warning for this edition of the newsletter: it's a long one. I hope you can bear with me as I sort through a lot of thoughts I've had in the last couple of days!
So, in the wake of all the ableist conversations I referenced in last week's newsletter, there was another one this week. And this time from someone who is a representative in the disability community.
Nicolas Hamilton, a race car driver who has cerebral palsy, was a guest on a UK talk show, Loose Women, as he is on a promotional tour for his new book.
During the show, one of the panelists asked Nicolas what had prompted him, aged 16, to start walking and “get out of his wheelchair.”
Quick note before I go on: I'm using quotation marks in this email to highlight the specific language that was used in the interview. I strongly believe that language matters, a lot. What we say and how we say it has an impact. A lot of people in the comments of the original clip and Nicolas's apology video have tried to explain what the actual intent was behind these statements, and I'm sure they're right, BUT that doesn't take away from the harm that was caused with the actual words that were used.
In response, Nicolas mentioned a very specific incident of ableism he experienced at an airport (a security person asked his mothers about his needs rather than speaking to him directly) and how that made him upset with himself.
He thought that given the fact that his legs did work to some extent, he was being “lazy” by using his wheelchair. He decided at that point to try to start walking, and he did, and now he hasn't used his wheelchair in 16 years.
[Cue enthusiastic applause from the audience.]
One of the panelists spoke to the grit and determination that must have taken, and asked why? How did you do that?"
Now, this is where it gets severely uncomfortable for me as a permanent wheelchair user.
He said: “My life in a wheelchair was going to look bleak. And, you know, I wanted to have a girlfriend, I wanted to have relationships, I wanted my mates to think I was cool. Because disability, I was taught at school, was not cool."
These are the exact words he said. Not “I felt at the time that…” or “the ableist experiences I had been through had made me think that…” or “being 16, I believed that…”
He stated these things as facts, and then didn't take the time to acknowledge that he could have still had a wonderful, full life even if he hadn't made that choice.
When I finished watching the clip, I was livid for a number of reasons. How could a disabled person with such a big platform showcase their internalized ableism in such a harmful way? Why did Loose Women go down that path of questioning? Why on earth did they choose to share that clip, with a caption that speaks to “what an inspiration he is"? How could a major media outlet, once again, in 2024, perpetuate the dangerous narrative that the goal for disabled people should be to be as normal or able as possible?
And on and on my mind turned.
But I also felt compassion. Just as any other disabled person, Nicolas Hamilton has faced numerous barriers in getting where he wanted to go. The fact that he's taking up spaces as a disabled man is huge. And I was absolutely certain that he didn't go into that conversation knowing he would harm anyone.
He has since published a video that acknowledges the harm he caused and includes an apology to the community. And I so appreciate that.
What worries me, though, is the hundreds of people in the comments going on and on about how he shouldn't have had to apologize. Basically, there are a lot of non-disabled people saying that the community over-reacted and that we shouldn't have gotten “offended” at someone just telling their story.
And this is where it gets bigger than just this one conversation, right?
Over and over and over again, disabled people are expected to be inspirational or to break down barriers so they can be in the same space as non-disabled bodies to be seen as valuable.
Over and over and over again, disabled people are discredited as making too much of a fuss when we feel harmed or discriminated against or worse.
It's exhausting. And it isn't going away.
So, how do we as disabled people move forward from here? How do we make sense of it?
For me, what's helped is getting to a place where I can hold multiple facts and truths at the same time. If we takes sides or see everything as black and white, then we can't get anywhere.
So here are the facts, as I see them.
Fact: As a disabled person, Nicolas Hamilton has broken massive barriers. The fact that he's part of the sport of motor racing and has made an impact there, driving with adaptations, is impressive. He really has shown that there is space for disabled people in an environment that was exclusively designed for non-disabled bodies.
Fact: This interview is very harmful. The framing of using a wheelchair as “lazy” when you are able to walk — even if Nicolas was talking about his own experience — is really detrimental to ambulatory wheelchair users. These are people who constantly have to prove (even to themselves) that they need to use their wheelchairs in order for their lives to be better.
Fact: I know that my wheelchair gives me freedom. I know that my life can be full and beautiful and wonderful even with my wheelchair — but it still hurt to hear wheelchairs spoken about in this way.
Fact: Nicolas Hamilton has benefited from being a representative of the disability community. Just last year he was on the cover of British Vogue when they did a feature on disabled trailblazers. To me, that means he has a responsibility to tell his story in a way that doesn't cause harm to his community. Again, language matters.
I hope he considers working with a media specialist that is disabled, and revisiting his story so that he can still tell it in a way that doesn't cause harm.
Fact: I have no doubt that Nicolas did feel that way about wheelchairs and disability when he was 16. I had those same feelings at that age, and they were really difficult (and lonely) to navigate. That doesn't mean he should depict them as facts when he talks about his reasoning.
Fact: Nicolas's story is still valid. It did take a lot of work to get to where he is, and I'm glad that he's found a way to live with his disability that makes sense to him and brings him joy. I don't think anyone is saying that he shouldn't tell his story. Just that he needs to be mindful of the narratives he might be playing into when he chooses to tell it a certain way.
Fact: I'm certain that Nicolas did not intend to harm anyone. But intent is only part of the equation. The fact remains that he did cause harm, and it's up to him to decide how he moves forward without doing that again.
Fact: Loose Women had a huge role to play here. The panelists asked the questions (which were more than likely prepared in advanced) in the way they were asked, the show's staff encouraged the audience to applaud when they did, AND they also decide to share that particular clip on social media in a clear example of inspiration porn. Not one person looked at that clip before it went live on socials and considered that it might cause harm.
What's even more maddening is that Sophie Morgan, a disabled woman, is one of their panelists on other episodes. Imagine how much more interesting (and how much less harmful) the discussion would have been if she'd been asked to run that interview?
Fact: There is still a huge way to go before society accepts disabled people in all their forms. Many non-disabled people around the world still think we are asking for too much when we ask for equality or to be represented fairly. We will continue to be told to quiet down. And I don't think that will ever stop being baffling to me.
Maybe this is all a bit much to hold all together and all at once — but I still think it's important that we do.
We have to be able to understand that things are complex and nuanced, and out of that identify what the actual challenges are.
In this case (and in many others) disabled people are once again coming up against:
Problematic narratives about our existence
Media bodies that keep perpetuating these narratives
Many non-disabled individuals that don't want to hear our stories unless they are told in a way that's palatable to them
Those are the things we need to keep fighting against.
