Friends want to be there

Yesterday, I did something new. I had a friend come with me to a medical appointment I really wasn't looking forward to. 

Some friends and people who follow me on Instagram will know that my last urology appointment was not fun. It felt invasive, like a loss of dignity, and I was left in a pretty anxious state when it was done. 

So, this time, as I was due back for a bladder Botox appointment (SCI girlies will know), I made sure I to go in prepared. 

I chose a comfortable outfit, made sure I had time with my pup before going, and planned a treat for after the appointment. I also asked one of my closest friends to come with me. 

Was it a vulnerable moment? Yes. I stumbled through the question and downplayed what it meant to me. I also looked everywhere but her face when I was asking. 

Did it feel uncomfortable? Definitely. 

BUT. (And it's a big but.) That feeling went away almost immediately. 

My friend not only said yes, she said "thank you."

I was surprised for a moment, but then I remembered something my therapist has been telling me. 

I have spent a lot of time “protecting” my friends from the hard stuff I go through by actively shielding them from what goes on and doing it all on my own. Asking for help is a way to let them in. It lets me get the support I need while also forging deeper connections within my friendships. 

And you know what? It made a world of difference yesterday. 

Having someone to chat about anything before the appointment was a delight — and so was having a smiling face to greet me when I was done. It was even better that we then went and got that planned treat together. 

So, here's the lesson: let's normalize asking friends to come with us to medical appointments and the things that are hard to do. They'll want to be there. 

I promise.